It’s been more than a month since My Big Chop: A preview of my “Big Day! 😀 Throughout this month I have learnt so much about what people think of natural hair in general. Especially, black natural hair ‘it’s not neat’ or ‘it’s not normal’. I have a very short TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro) and I love wearing it, I never put a doekie on it throughout this month at varsity, or even when going out I proudly wear my afro I love it. ❤
However, there are some people who don’t love it as much as I do. Yes, this is expected when making such a big change to your physical appearance and doing something out of the ordinary even if it means colouring your hair purple! Well, they make it known to me because of the looks they give me and the things they say to me. On the other hand, thanks to those people on the street and my friends and family for all the sweet words means a lot ❤ .. Just what I need during this big change in my life.
From the get go on the day I cut my hair my mother came home and told me that my hair doesn’t look nice and I asked her what you mean as she said she’s just being honest I laughed it off and said I don’t care lol but she has since accepted my hair (she didn’t know I was going to cut it – maybe that’s why she was so surprised XD ).
Family members, on the other hand, keep asking me why I did it even though it has been a month now and that I have a ‘korrel kop’. Now, don’t get me wrong I know they mean it as a joke but now younger ones heard this and have been calling me it and I must admit it does hurt but then I just remind myself why I’m doing it.
On another occurrence, I was walking about 3 weeks ago to university, along
the road construction is taking place and the guys working there are always kind and greets me and I obviously greet back it’s just in my nature. However, on this day I was walking with my head down and one of these guys greeted me and said: “Morning” I looked up and greeted him back you won’t believe what he asked me: “Oh are you a coloured?” I asked him: “What??” and he repeated his question I said: “Yes, why you asking me that??” and he said: “Your hair is so short so I thought…” I just walked on I couldn’t believe what that man said. I don’t know how to feel about that incident but it’s just another depiction of what people think of women. They have this perception of what a woman should look like before they talk to you or get to know you they make inferences about who you are by looking at your physical appearance and it’s really sad.
I cut my hair and now have an afro and now I don’t physically ‘qualify’ as being myself, as being my own culture??
As a young woman, I made a decision that was for myself which is not what most woman can say at this age. We are pressurised and wanting to be like this and that one because it’s what society and guys like. That’s all good and well (if it’s what you prefer) but if a guy doesn’t like you for who you are then he doesn’t deserve you girl, don’t try and be something that you are not.
‘Pitte kop’, ‘korrel kop’, ‘brush your hair it doesn’t look right’, is why I damaged my hair with a flat iron for more than 15 years of my life. No one wants to hear these words every day it definitely dampens your self-esteem and makes you feel like you don’t belong, you doing something wrong.
Think before you talk ‘Words Are Powerful’ when it is uttered it can’t be taken back.
You don’t have to change a thing the world should change its heart ❤ – Alessia Cara
This song motivated me to do this and whenever I get a look, a stare or a harsh word because of my hair I listen to it and it makes me realise that I’m beautiful just the way I am. ❤ 🙂