My view on why girls straighten their hair …

It’s been more than a month since My Big Chop: A preview of my “Big Day! 😀 Throughout this month I have learnt so much about what people think of natural hair in general. Especially, black natural hair ‘it’s not neat’ or ‘it’s not normal’. I have a very short TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro) and I love wearing it, I never put a doekie on it throughout this month at varsity, or even when going out I proudly wear my afro I love it. ❤

You are a Queen and your mane is your Crown – Flaunt it ❤

However, there are some people who don’t love it as much as I do. Yes, this is expected when making such a big change to your physical appearance and doing something out of the ordinary even if it means colouring your hair purple! Well, they make it known to me because of the looks they give me and the things they say to me. On the other hand, thanks to those people on the street and my friends and family for all the sweet words means a lot ❤ .. Just what I need during this big change in my life.

From the get go on the day I cut my hair my mother came home and told me that my hair doesn’t look nice and I asked her what you mean as she said she’s just being honest I laughed it off and said I don’t care lol but she has since accepted my hair (she didn’t know I was going to cut it – maybe that’s why she was so surprised XD ).

Family members, on the other hand, keep asking me why I did it even though it has been a month now and that I have a ‘korrel kop’. Now, don’t get me wrong I know they mean it as a joke but now younger ones heard this and have been calling me it and I must admit it does hurt but then I just remind myself why I’m doing it.

On another occurrence, I was walking about 3 weeks ago to university, along
the road construction is taking place and the guys working there are always kind and greets me and I obviously greet back it’s just in my nature. However, on this day I was walking with my head down and one of these guys greeted me and said: “Morning” I looked up and greeted him back you won’t believe what he asked me: “Oh are you a coloured?” I asked him: “What??” and he repeated his question I said: “Yes, why you asking me that??” and he said: “Your hair is so short so I thought…” I just walked on I couldn’t believe what that man said. I don’t know how to feel about that incident but it’s just another depiction of what people think of women. They have this perception of what a woman should look like before they talk to you or get to know you they make inferences about who you are by looking at your physical appearance and it’s really sad.

I cut my hair and now have an afro and now I don’t physically ‘qualify’ as being myself, as being my own culture??

#BlackisBeautiful #GoingBackToMyRoots #HairGoals

As a young woman, I made a decision that was for myself which is not what most woman can say at this age. We are pressurised and wanting to be like this and that one because it’s what society and guys like. That’s all good and well (if it’s what you prefer) but if a guy doesn’t like you for who you are then he doesn’t deserve you girl, don’t try and be something that you are not.

‘Pitte kop’, ‘korrel kop’, ‘brush your hair it doesn’t look right’, is why I damaged my hair with a flat iron for more than 15 years of my life. No one wants to hear these words every day it definitely dampens your self-esteem and makes you feel like you don’t belong, you doing something wrong.
Think before you talk  ‘Words Are Powerful’ when it is uttered it can’t be taken back.

You don’t have to change a thing the world should change its heart ❤ – Alessia Cara
This song motivated me to do this and whenever I get a look, a stare or a harsh word because of my hair I listen to it and it makes me realise that I’m beautiful just the way I am. ❤ 🙂

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One Month Update on my Natural Hair Journey.. <3

This month I have taught myself so much about who I am, and I am extremely proud of myself and how I had the courage to do this with my hair.
I am a ‘girly-girl’ as I call myself so often, lol but I am proudly so. With that being said my hair was my everything because it was part of who I am and the girly persona was portrayed with my hairstyles, my hair was a part of my image and my dress code. But now “it’s just hair” like literally, I’m not saying forget about it, take care of it and nurture it but don’t let it determine who you are as a person.

When I cut my hair I thought this will change who I am as a person, it actually did change who I am it made me a better version of me! I am more confident and my hair makes me believe that I am able to make bold decisions. Cutting my hair was one of the boldest things I have EVER done. Many people told me they didn’t think I’d be able to do this. Okay, guys sorry I am babbling too much… XD

In my next blog, I will talk about the reactions I got from my family, friends and even strangers on my hair. However, this is an update on my hair lol. As I said in my previous blog my hair will love me for big chopping and apparently she really does! 😀

One month ago.

One month later.

My hair has been growing slowly but it is fuller and much healthier than before. Looking at the pictures above you can see there isn’t much difference in length but along my edges, you can see the fullness, so I think my hair is just repairing itself now before it decides to grow in length. But girl, I’m waiting patiently on you! (I’m enjoying this length so much now

My daily routine is very simple I watched Daye La Soul’s video on Hair Types and Textures (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkWhewD0AWc) and learnt more about my hair type and I found that the LOC (Leave-in, Oil, Cream) method is best for me because I have very dry hair, thick strands, and dense hair.

So I spritz it with water, then I apply some Micro-Keratin leave in mixed with Placenta, then some Avocado oil or coconut oil and lastly, Auntie Jackie’s curling custard in circular motions onto my hair. Or I just comb it all out and rock my TWA! 😛
Then I use some gel and apply it to my edges/baby hairs using a toothbrush.
Currently, this is the only method I use until it is long enough to do some cute styles which I can’t wait for. ❤
Thanks for taking the time to read this… ❤

‘A girl who cuts her hair is about to change her life’

My Big Chop: A preview of my “Big Day”

So I am sitting here about to cut my hair, but I’m waiting for the proper size comb that I want to cut my hair with. I’m starting to hesitate as to whether it’s really necessary and if I’m not short enough already.
Your hair as a girl/woman as I’m turning 24 (I’m still young at heart so saying that is a bit scary LOL) is your femininity it shouldn’t be though because your hair shouldn’t determine who you are as a woman and how you are portrayed and treated!
Cutting or removing that feminism can be a very scary step for any woman. I’ve watched many big chop videos and ladies started crying because they looked like a man or was scared of what people would say about this new look. On the other hand, there were ladies who loved their new look and embraced the journey. Some ladies start from transitioning and some start after the big chop it’s all dependent on how damaged your hair is. I started with transitioning, I spoke about it in my previous blog Going Back to My Roots. I transitioned for 2 months but the plan was always to cut it all at some stage.
So, as I’m sitting here waiting for my cousin to get the clippers and the right size comb I wonder what will my view on my hair be. I can be confident now and say I’ll love it either way but like my mom says “your hair frames and ‘makes’ your face”. So will this new look suit me? Will it ‘frame’ my face the way I’m hoping it will?
Well, its  risk I have to take to start my natural hair journey the right way and get rid of this damaged hair like the girls say in their vlogs “it’s just hair”.

Before the big chop

So I cut my hair eventually approximately 5 hours after I typed up the previous section.
That gave me ample time to contemplate and I did very much so, to a point where I was thinking to myself this is unnecessary how am I going to manage my TWA but thank goodness for YouTube videos that won’t be a problem. ❤
I waited for my cousin but he ended up saying he needs to fix his car and I being a very stubborn and impatient girl decided to do it myself. I had a smart idea to cut my hair with a scissor first. Yeah, you can tell I didn’t know what I was doing and cut the left side of my head way too short. Wish I knew before DIM (Doing It Myself) to not pull my hair when cutting it. It shrunk back so much and yeah then I realised there was a whole in my head pointed out by my grandmother. XD
Anyway, I used a size 4 comb for the clippers and cut away… Seeing and feeling my hair fall was a bit of a shock I was starting to giggle repeatedly asking myself “what are you doing” LOL!
I’m going to be honest, and say I didn’t like it at first (more so when my sister’s daughter asked me to cut her hair as well she also wants to look like a boy!) but after a good wash and applying some oils, it was looking as beautiful as I expected!

After the big chop

I love my hair and I’m going to make the best of it! Won’t have to stand hours in front of the mirror anymore before varsity hehe at least for a few months LOL. 😀

Essentially, just take the risk and do whats best for your hair. Your hair and yourself should have a relationship if you treat it right it will treat you even better! 🙂

‘A girl who cuts her hair is about to change her life’ ❤ – Coco Chanel

Going Back to My Roots

Growing up I always hated my hair. Let me rephrase, not while growing up this actually ended in November 2016 when I started realizing how gorgeous girls looked with their natural hair. On university I always admired them. Their hair looked healthy, shiny just extremely beautiful now this would make me sound envious. Well maybe I was, but it made me realize if they can love their hair this much, I can too. Okay let me take it back a notch.

On Christmas day in 1998. My hair is back in a ponytail. At this stage I was still natural thanks to my mom and it was healthy this was prior to my grandma cut it all off.

This was at a camp in Bainskloof in Grade 5 cant remember how old I was at the time. It was neatly braided because my mom knew I wouldnt be able to look after my hair myself.

My mother took care of my hair very well she didn’t relax it much and it was always neatly plaited for school and church so my hair was growing healthily. When I was about 5 years old my grandmother took it upon herself to take a hair clipper and cut my hair because at the time I had sores on my head but my mom told me she was about to take me to a clinic the next week when she got off work. Meanwhile she was using a cream to ease the itch and resolve the problem. Long story short my hair was gone and my mom struggled to get my texture back to  the way it was. Anyway, as I grew older I noticed other girls’ hair those girls in my class and my friends with the sleek hair and I wanted that leading to me relaxing and blowing and dyeing and straightening to the point where I even used an ordinary clothing iron to straighten my hair. I was obsessed. I wanted hair like those girls and I was going to go to all lengths to get it. While I was never aware of what I was doing to my hair, my authenticity, my culture, my self esteem, my ME!

Last year sometime 2016.

Christmas day last year 2016.

I made myself believe that my hair only grew to a certain length (not very long as I thought), because when it reached that length it would stop growing. Aah that was a big lie, what I now know is that my hair was breaking faster than it was growing. I used to live by my pony tail on high school even at university which lead to my hair breaking off so bad at the point of its growth. My aunt owns a hair salon and she does my hair like no one else can but I was always afraid to go there not because she’s a horrible person (LOL XD ) but because of how I damaged my hair I would have a recurring appointment with her and she would bring my hair back to life and I’ll just mess it up again in the comfort of my own home.

Early 2016, I bought myself a flat iron GHD an original one at a hair salon a beautiful gold one meanwhile I don’t know how to use it so it never made my hair the way I wanted it to be. However, when my aunt and sister used it, their hair came out beautiful so it’s just me. Anyway I stopped using this GHD that I paid so much for because now I was on a new journey. A journey of self reflection and finding myself.
My mind set changed completely since I saw various natural products make headlines on my Facebook LOL! It was always there but it just started catching my eye. I told my mother about it and she just said it’s your hair do with it what you want (she says I wasted my money buying a GHD when I now want to keep my ‘kroes kop’  looking like that). XD
I decided I will do the big chop for my sisters wedding I went very short but the problem is the damaged hair was still there.

The day after the big chop.

My sister had a  beautiful small wedding and I as her maid of honor was proud to witness it.

My sisters husband, my sister, myself and my cousin.

Myself, my mom, and godmom.

My mom, sister and I.

With that being said now my hair is still not what I would like it to be and what I know it could be so I have decided to go shorter. I don’t really care what people say about how I look I care about myself and my own well being. I do expect to get bad looks on those bad hair days but I’ll clap back with my hair on fleek days hehe! 😉

I’m not expecting my natural journey to be sunshine and blue skies but I’m ready to do the MAJOR CHOP and get it started I’m sure my hair will love me for it.
Thanks for taking time out to read my first introductory blog (long I know LOL sorry) I hope you will enjoy sharing this journey with me 🙂 ❤

‘A girl who cuts her hair is about to change her life’ ❤ – Coco Chanel